Relationships and safety
Domestic abuse and FND: when something doesn’t feel right
Abuse is not always physical. It can look like someone taking control of your money, medication, phone, appointments, friendships or freedom—and it can happen so gradually that it starts to feel normal.
If anyone is in immediate danger
Call 999 and ask for the police
If you cannot speak on a mobile, listen to the operator and press 55 when prompted.
Start with how it feels
Could this be abuse?
You may not use the word “abuse”. You may only know that home feels unpredictable, your choices are getting smaller, or you are changing your behaviour to keep somebody else calm.
A healthier relationship leaves room for
- disagreement without fear, punishment or revenge
- privacy on your phone, messages and medical records
- your own friends, family, work, study and interests
- access to your money, bank card and important documents
- a freely given “yes” or “no” about sex, touch and photos
- support for FND symptoms without mockery or disbelief
Warning signs include
- walking on eggshells or rehearsing every word
- being tracked, checked up on or cut off from support
- money, benefits or debts being controlled in your name
- pressure, fear or guilt being used to obtain sex
- threats involving children, pets, housing or your care
- being told FND makes you unreliable, “crazy” or unable to decide
You do not need to tick every item. UK statutory guidance recognises controlling or coercive behaviour, emotional or psychological abuse, sexual abuse, economic abuse, threatening behaviour and physical abuse. Abuse can be a single incident or a pattern. It does not have to leave a bruise. Read the Domestic Abuse Act statutory guidance.
What abuse can look like
- Coercive control
- Rules, monitoring, isolation, humiliation or threats that reduce your freedom over time.
- Economic abuse
- Controlling money or benefits, preventing work, creating debt, taking wages, or making you account for every purchase.
- Digital abuse
- Checking messages, demanding passwords, tracking location, impersonating you, or using smart devices to frighten or monitor you.
- Emotional abuse
- Constant criticism, gaslighting, blame, threats, intimidation, silent punishment, or making you doubt your own memory.
- Sexual abuse
- Any sexual act without free agreement, including pressure, fear, deception, being asleep, or being too unwell to consent.
- Physical abuse
- Hitting, pushing, restraining, choking, blocking a doorway, throwing objects, or threatening physical harm.
When disability is used as leverage
FND can make control easier to hide
A person causing harm may present themselves as your “carer” while using your symptoms to take away choice. This can include:
- withholding medication, mobility aids, food, rest or access to a toilet
- cancelling appointments or refusing to let you speak to a clinician alone
- filming episodes to shame you, or threatening to share recordings
- telling professionals you invent symptoms or cannot make decisions
- controlling disability benefits, transport or the help you need to leave home
- deliberately triggering symptoms, then blaming you for becoming unwell
Care should increase your safety and choice—not somebody else’s power over you.
What can you do if you are unsure?
About the quick-exit button
It replaces this page with BBC Weather, but it cannot erase browser history, downloads, router logs or monitoring software. Suddenly clearing history or changing passwords can also be noticed. A domestic-abuse service can help you plan digital safety without increasing risk.
What does the evidence say about abuse, trauma and FND?
The direct evidence about domestic abuse specifically among women with FND is limited. It is more accurate to say that several kinds of abuse, maltreatment and stressful life event are reported or recorded more often in groups with FND than in comparison groups. That is an association; it does not prove abuse caused somebody’s FND.
A 2018 systematic review of 34 case-control studies found childhood and adult stressors were more common in FND. The studies were moderate-to-low quality and varied considerably. Importantly, every study that specifically checked also included some people with FND who reported no severe life event or maltreatment.
A large 2025 electronic-health-record study found coded abuse, neglect, assault and other adversity more often in FND than in migraine or generalised anxiety. Medical coding misses many lived experiences, so it cannot tell us the true prevalence of domestic abuse.
There is also a broader disability risk. In England and Wales, the Office for National Statistics estimated that 13.4% of disabled adults experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2025, compared with 6.7% of non-disabled adults. This figure covers disability generally—not FND specifically.
Three things this evidence cannot tell you
- Having FND does not prove you have experienced abuse or trauma.
- Experiencing abuse does not make FND imaginary, self-inflicted or “only psychological”.
- A change in symptoms should not automatically be blamed on trauma or FND; new, sudden, severe or different symptoms still need appropriate medical assessment.
NHS Inform’s FND overview explains that FND is a genuine disorder of nervous-system functioning and can involve several interacting factors.
You can call even if you are not sure
Confidential domestic-abuse help across the UK
Choose the nation you are in. A trained adviser can listen, help you name what is happening and discuss safer next steps. You do not have to promise to leave or report to the police.
England
National Domestic Abuse Helpline
Free, confidential and open 24 hours, run by Refuge.
Scotland
Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline
Wales
Live Fear Free
Northern Ireland
Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline
Specialist routes
- Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327 · mensadviceline.org.uk
- Galop for LGBT+ people: 0800 999 5428 · galop.org.uk
- Childline for anyone under 19: 0800 1111 · childline.org.uk
- Worried about a child: call 999 in immediate danger or contact the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000.
One thing to take with you
You are allowed to ask the question
You do not have to decide today whether the word “abuse” fits. If somebody’s behaviour is making you afraid, controlled, isolated or less able to manage your health, that is enough reason to speak to a specialist.
Frequently asked questions
Does domestic abuse cause FND?
Research finds abuse and other adverse experiences more often in groups with FND than in several comparison groups, but that does not prove domestic abuse causes FND. FND has multiple possible risk and triggering factors, and a trauma history is not required.
Can abuse still be real if there has been no physical violence?
Yes. Domestic abuse can include controlling or coercive behaviour, emotional or psychological abuse, sexual abuse, economic abuse and threatening behaviour. You do not need a visible injury to ask for support.
Can controlling my medication or FND appointments be abuse?
It can be. Withholding medication or mobility aids, preventing private medical appointments, using symptoms to discredit you, or making you dependent can form part of a pattern of coercive control.
Where can I get domestic abuse help in the UK?
Call 999 if you or someone else is in immediate danger. England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland each have a national domestic-abuse helpline listed above. You can contact one for confidential advice even if you are unsure what to call your experience.
Sources and review notes
Reviewed 5 August 2026. FND Connect is an information and peer-support organisation, not a domestic-abuse crisis service. This guide does not replace individual medical, legal or safeguarding advice.
- Domestic Abuse Act statutory guidance
- ONS: Domestic abuse victim characteristics, year ending March 2025
- NHS: Getting help for domestic violence and abuse
- Police.uk: Domestic abuse support and silent 999 calls
- Ludwig et al. (2018): stressful life events and maltreatment in FND
- Adverse life events and psychosocial stressors in FND (2025)